His velvety ridge – and other nice words for naughty bits

When penning sex scenes I often have to stop and think of a nice way to describe certain parts of the anatomy in order to maintain the romance and avoid sounding too clinical.

Here are a few challenges and how I’ve tried to get round them, but if you have any better suggestions, please send them my way!

Avoiding the biology lesson

His penis brushed her vulva = urrr, puke!  : (

She felt his hardness brush over the soft, plump skin of her most intimate part = phew, much nicer.  : )

Don’t be crude!

He thrust his cock insider her = woah, what a brute!  : (

He entered her, slowly, gently at first, and felt her body respond by… = you get the picture : )

It’s a romance, not a comedy

He buried his head into her chest, almost suffocating herself between her huge bazookas = ha ha, but erm no.  : (

He buried his head into her chest, the soft flesh of her breasts, swollen with arousal, pressing insistently against his stubbled jaw = she probably wishes he’d shaved but much better nonetheless : )

So you see, not as easy as it sounds to get across the excitement and the romance without falling into the comedy or biology traps, although an excellent exercise in euphemisms!

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