Suppress self doubt – and emerge brilliant, or humiliated?

In order to achieve something we want is it necessary to risk making an absolute idiot of ourselves if it all goes wrong?  I’m beginning to think it is.

If we give it a go and emerge triumphant then happy days, but if we give it a go and emerge a failure then there could be some serious personal humiliation in store.

The problem is, if we want something so much, I mean really, really want it, then we’re prepared to risk achieving it at all costs, right?  Right – unless of course, self doubt raises its ugly head, gets the better of us and means we never actually go through with it due to the fear of making a bit of a dick of ourselves in the process.

I’m struggling with a touch of the ol’ self doubt at the moment.  If the publisher doesn’t like my book and I go with my second choice of self-publishing it, then I’ll open myself up to the criticism of, erm, let’s see – the ENTIRE WORLD!  And that’s an extremely daunting prospect.

Normally in life I don’t really care if someone doesn’t like something about me – my outfit, point of view, way I bring up my child, etc.  But this is different; this is my personal creation on the page and the result of months and months of hard work.  If, over breakfast, I see someone has left a bad review I can’t pretend I won’t end up face down in my porridge.

Of course you’ll never please everyone, I know that and that’s fine, but here’s where self doubt creeps in – what if my book doesn’t please anyone; what if I become a laughing stock; what if my friends and family disown me; what if I’m banished from society for ever daring to think I could do this and succeed; what if, what if, what if…..

And there’s the problem, once you start doubting yourself, there’s no end to it.  Well, there is, it’s when you finally talk yourself out of even trying because you’re convinced you’re bound to end up a massive failure who people will be pointing and laughing at for eternity.

I know if I’m going to get anywhere with my book then I need to suppress this self doubt and deal with whatever may come, and I want it so badly that this is what I’ve decided to do.  Come what may, that book is getting out there!

I wonder how many people have been put off from having a go at something because of their own self doubt?  Are there geniuses out there who were on the brink of showing their talent to the world – be it sport, acting, art or science related – just to pull back at the last minute because of this devilish emotion?

Has self doubt ever stopped you from doing anything?  Where could you be now if you’d have fought through its barrier to give it a go?

I’m thinking of starting a one-woman campaign to banish self doubt forever.  So say we give something a go and it goes wrong, say we get talked about and laughed at, who cares! Perhaps that will result in a great dollop of self respect that we had the gumption to give it a go, and surely that will tell our self doubt to take a hike once and for all.

 

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. Brian Middleton says:

    In writing about your self doubt, you have stared it in the face and already defeated it. You know that you will have to submit some of your work to dozens of publishers. Perhaps, with your book, the type of publisher will be easy to find, however, it will be looked upon as a business opportunity for them and not a chance to pat you on the back. Pat yourself on the back; you have had a go at doing something that you wanted to do and was a challenge. J K Rowling was rejected many times before finding the right publisher that saw her worth. Self doubt is as about as useful as a blunt knife.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ginahollands says:

      Thanks Brian. I’m going to do it anyway, self doubt or not, just hope I can retain my dignity! : D

      Like

  2. dressingegos says:

    LOL…you have nailed a point the entire universe goes through…n nailed it writing exactly as it is in simple enough lines…Mind you i m part of the same universe ( think so ) and i went through the same thinking n self doubts..but yeah honestly…i settled for the thought – In for a Penny -In for a pound…;-) in one line loved the penning of your self doubts that we all get…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ginahollands says:

      Yep, think we all go through it to varying degrees. I usually blunder right in and worry about it later, but this book writing stuff has made me stop and think!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. dressingegos says:

    Reblogged this on Dressingegos and commented:
    Loved the post..definitely raises a universal point…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ginahollands says:

      Glad you liked it, and thanks for reblogging!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Alfie says:

    I was going to make a comment but I changed my mind because I’m not sure if you’ll like it or not. Stop over-thinking; you’re wasting valuable time and you’ll disappear up your own arse. Just get on with it! Oh yeah, and using the word ‘dick’ in a pejorative manner is sexist & I’m offended.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ginahollands says:

      I am getting on with it, Alfie! Just on read-through now then in July it’s going to publisher. There are so many pejorative female terms out there, it’s refreshing to find a male one ; )

      Like

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