Digging oneself out of the ‘sit’ – why you should never lie to children


One had a very minor incident in one’s automobile this evening while ferrying her young son around and a tiny little expletive – it was nothing really – might have escaped one’s lips.  Think I got away with it though, don’t think he heard.


“Erm, yes”, I say, while regaining normal dignity and composure.

“What does sit mean?”

“Sit?  Sit means to park your bottom.”

“But your bottom’s already parked, mummy, so why did you say it?”

“When?  I don’t remember saying anything.” (Oh bollocks, busted)

“You definitely did, mummy, I heard you.   You said Oh sit.”

“Did I really?” (nervous laugh) “How strange, I didn’t realise I’d said that.”

“Well you did.”


“Just then, when the car made that noise.”

“Goodness, did the car make a noise?  I didn’t even notice.” (Good, he thinks it was the car, got away with it)

“Well it definitely did.  We should get dad to check it when we get home.”

(Oh bugger!!  Last ditch attempt needed to distract attention away from fact that mother is a potty-mouthed bad driver)

“Shall we stop at the shop and get you some chocolate?”

“Oooh, yes please.”

(Later, over dinner…)



“Mum said sit in the car today.”

“Why?  Were you messing about in your seat?”


(OK, stop there please)

“I think it was because she scraped the car on the wall.”

(Oh feck)

“Oh right, did she now?” raised eyebrow.

“Yes…well, it sounded like sit, but I think she actually meant to say shit.”

double raised eyebrows

“And what makes you think that?”

“It’s what mummy usually says when she scrapes the wall.”

Oh sit – chocolate pudding anyone?


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